The Power of Showing Up As Yourself

1. Is it common to get all dolled up for a date? Why do many women wear makeup on a first date?

Most women typically wear makeup on a first date, just as they might daily – especially after a certain age. Getting ready for a date is part of the experience. We often suggest our female clients put on music and enjoy this process; it helps them tap into their feminine energy and mindset for the date. However, some women do go a bit overboard with getting "dolled up" for a first date. We've received feedback from men about excessive makeup and fragrance.

‍

2. What do you think about this TikTok trend where women aren't wearing makeup on first dates? (Do you find it empowering? Is it about time? Do you think it might really help boost their confidence?)

Just as with every other trend, I think it probably works well for some women, while not for others. Confidence is key to attraction, so the most important consideration is how a woman feels about herself when she shows up on a date. That will shine through and stand out more than what she’s put on her face.

I wouldn’t recommend that women adopt this trend if it’s simply because they don’t want to put in the effort. Think about how you’d like a man to show up to your date. We’ve had women complain before about men arriving with wrinkled clothing or even sweaty from biking over. If you’re going to give someone your time and take theirs, I’d suggest putting in the effort to maximize your chances of connection in case there is potential. It all starts with your mindset.

‍

3. Many women, if they like someone, will then start to wear makeup on date number two. How might this method impact your dating success? (Could it show the person you're interested? Might going in makeup-free on the first date help weed out potential bad matches?)

I can definitely understand not wanting to pour a ton of time, effort, and money into a first date when you're not sure how you'll feel about the person. It can be super frustrating to spend hours getting ready for dates where you know within the first five minutes that you never need to see them again. I think there's a happy medium.

You're presumably meeting someone you see some potential with, so while I don't think you need to put your "best foot forward" in terms of your appearance, I would recommend it be a "good" one.

‍

4. What message might it send to go to a first date without makeup? (To yourself and to your date?)

I think the message sent by going to a first date without makeup varies by individual. It could suggest everything from low effort to high confidence, and that perception will largely be influenced by other factors you exhibit.

If you show that you've put some care into your overall appearance for the date, and you come across as enthusiastic and curious, I don't believe that not wearing makeup will take away from the experience.

The message it sends to yourself is, once again, entirely dependent on your mindset. If you're going into the date thinking it's likely a waste of your time, you'll probably create that reality for yourself.

‍

5. What's your advice for someone who wants to be makeup-free on a first date? How can you show up confidently?

My advice is to only go makeup-free if you can genuinely feel confident showing up that way. You don't have to start with a date, which makes most people a bit nervous from the get-go.

‍

Perhaps build your confidence by going without makeup to work or other social events first and see how you feel. If it starts to feel comfortable and empowering, then go for it on a date. If not, don't do it. The most important factor is how you feel about yourself when you show up, so do what feels right to you!

‍