Your New Chapter: Essential Reads for Every Stage of Your Relationship

May 20, 2024

Starting and sustaining meaningful relationships can be both exciting and challenging. To support you along the way, we've curated a selection of books that are not only favorites among our team but have also been found to be valuable by our clients. Our hand-picked selections cover a wide range of topics, from dating and attachment to personal growth and long-term love. Take a look and uncover a wealth of information and stories that are sure to guide you in the right direction. 


"How Not to Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love" by Logan Ury

Who it’s for: The Data-Driven Dater

Why We Recommend It: Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and dating coach, offers readers a fresh perspective on finding love in the modern world. Her approach is data-driven, so it’s tough to argue with her advice. Ury includes a quiz to help readers identify common dating blind spots and understand their own behavioral patterns. 

One of the book's most useful qualities is its emphasis on practical strategies for fostering meaningful connections, as well as actionable advice on effective communication, navigating online dating platforms, and embracing vulnerability in relationships. Ury's book is grounded in scientific research and empirical evidence, providing readers with a solid foundation for understanding human behavior and relationship dynamics.  


“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Who it’s for: The Introspective Identifier 

Why We Recommend It: "Attached" offers readers valuable insights into the dynamics of adult attachment and how it influences relationships. Drawing on cutting-edge research in psychology, authors Amir Levine and Rachel Heller demystify attachment styles—secure, anxious, and avoidant—and explore how understanding these styles can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. By gaining perspective about our own attachment style and that of our partners, readers can cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

The book provides practical strategies for recognizing and addressing attachment-related patterns of behavior, as well as tools for fostering secure attachments and strengthening emotional bonds with partners. Levine and Heller offer actionable guidance for navigating common relationship challenges, such as communication breakdowns, conflict resolution, and managing emotional needs. By incorporating attachment theory into their approach, the authors provide readers with a research-based foundation for building secure and satisfying relationships that stand the test of time.


"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb

Who it’s for: The Open-Minded Optimist

Why We Recommend It: Through a blend of personal anecdotes, expert insights, and thought-provoking research, author Lori Gottlieb explores the complexities of modern dating and the unrealistic expectations that often sabotage our search for a life partner.

Gottlieb's book encourages readers to reconsider their criteria for a suitable partner and to adopt a more open-minded approach to dating. Rather than holding out for an idealized fantasy, she advocates for embracing the potential of compatible, loving relationships—even if they don't meet every item on our checklist. Contrary to the title, Gottlieb doesn't advocate for settling; rather, she suggests focusing on more important qualities and staying open-minded about potential partners.

"Marry Him" provides practical advice on navigating the complexities of modern dating, including how to recognize and appreciate the qualities that truly matter in a life partner. By challenging societal norms and encouraging readers to prioritize meaningful connections over superficial attributes, Gottlieb empowers individuals to find fulfillment in their romantic lives.


"Finding a Husband After 35: Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School" by Rachel Greenwald

Who it’s for: The Practical Professional

Why We Recommend It: Rachel Greenwald offers a practical and strategic approach for women searching for love later in life. Drawing on her experience as a dating coach and her education at Harvard Business School, Greenwald provides readers with a comprehensive roadmap for navigating the dating scene with confidence and purpose.

"Finding a Husband After 35" is filled with practical tips, insightful anecdotes, and step-by-step strategies for overcoming common obstacles to finding love later in life. Greenwald's no-nonsense approach and emphasis on personal agency make this book a valuable resource for anyone seeking to find lasting love and companionship.


"Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson

Who it’s for: Soul-Searching Single Male

Why We Recommend It: Geared towards men, "Models" by Mark Manson offers a refreshingly honest approach to dating and attraction. Challenging conventional wisdom, Manson provides practical insights into building genuine connections with women. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, psychological principles, and actionable advice, Manson empowers male readers to develop authentic confidence and attract partners who resonate with their true selves.

The book emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, vulnerability, and genuine expression in attracting romantic partners. Manson encourages men to focus on developing inner qualities and values that align with their authentic selves, rather than relying on manipulative tactics or surface-level behaviors to attract attention.

"Models" provides practical exercises and strategies for improving self-confidence, communication skills, and overall attractiveness specifically tailored to men. Manson's candid and straightforward writing style makes complex psychological concepts accessible and relatable, offering men valuable insights into the dynamics of attraction and relationships.


"Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence" by Esther Perel

Who it’s for: The Passionate Partner

Why We Recommend It: Perel's "Mating in Captivity" provides a compelling exploration of modern love and the intricacies of maintaining passion in monogamous relationships. Throughout the book, Perel introduces the concept of "erotic intelligence," emphasizing the importance of understanding the complexity of human sexuality. By cultivating a deep understanding of one's own desires and those of their partner, readers can unlock new levels of intimacy and passion.

Perel challenges traditional assumptions about monogamy, urging readers to reconsider the balance between security and adventure in their relationships. She argues that maintaining passion and eroticism requires navigating the tension between closeness and distance. Perel's thought-provoking perspective encourages readers to embrace the transformative power of eroticism and to reevaluate their approaches to intimacy.

Through practical strategies and insightful anecdotes, "Mating in Captivity" offers readers valuable insights into the dynamics of desire, eroticism, and emotional connection. Perel invites readers to explore the complexities of modern love and to embrace the challenge of rekindling desire within the context of long-term relationships.


"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman and Nan Silver

Who it’s for: The Marriage Master

Why We Recommend It: John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, and Nan Silver provide a comprehensive guide for couples seeking to improve their marriage or long-term partnership. Drawing from decades of research and clinical experience, the authors identify seven principles that are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. By highlighting the fundamental aspects of healthy relationships, such as effective communication, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution, the authors offer actionable strategies for couples to enhance their connection and intimacy, and build a resilient foundation for a lasting and fulfilling partnership.

The book is accessible and engaging, with relatable anecdotes and real-life examples that illustrate the principles in action. Gottman and Silver's approach is rooted in empirical evidence, making it applicable and beneficial for couples at any stage of their relationship journey.

Whether you're single, dating, or in a committed relationship, each of these hand-selected books contains valuable advice and support that we have found useful in our lives and our practice. We hope you find these recommendations helpful on your journey to love and personal growth. Here’s to building a better you, one book at a time!

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